Wuz up?

Ok... I feel that it is about time for an update!

Things with Tyler are going really well. We've talked a lot about where we are and where we are headed. Um, the bottom line is that we're both just trying to figure things out.
We went to the temple last week. He did a session, and I went and did baptisms. I got through really fast, so I had around an hour and twenty minutes for myself. Perfect time to do some thinking!
I started by calling my grandma to let her know that I took care of the name that she had given me to be baptized and confirmed for. She and I talked for a while, and she offered to pay my housing costs for the summer. (Which I am going apartment hunting for today!)
Afterwards, I took some time to read through my patriarchal blessing and then the scriptures. And I felt like I got an answer to my prayer and my question-- what do I do about Tyler.
I truly felt like it wasn't something that I really needed to worry about right now. It seemed very clear to me that I need to focus on school. If I am being obedient and doing the things that I ought to be doing, then everything will work out as it should.
There is a time and place for everything, and right now is the time to work on my education.
So, I've decided to just relax and see what happens. If I'm doing what I should be, things will work out, and I will be happy. I felt so good about that decision!!! It was wonderful to feel relief and peace!
I love the temple. And I love knowing that I'm not alone in my quest for happiness.

Anyway, gotta go! Love to you all!

Everybody Hurts (REM)

Good song. It has such a good message. Check it out on youtube if you don't know what it is. I'm a big fan of it.

Ok.

So I gave a talk yesterday in church about the importance of education. It went alright. I got up to the pulpit and completely blanked out. Hopefully I made sense to the congregation. The other talks were about time management. I thought to myself, "Self, I think that the Lord is trying to tell you something." I just really felt how important my education is, and that I need to make sure that it is my priority.

Speaking of school, I got a half scholarship for the Spring and Summer semesters up here at BYU! So that's helpful.

And recently, I've been dating Tyler. It's been a lot of fun, but his feelings for me are much stronger than mine are for him. He says he loves me, and I believe him. But, I only like him. And I'm not sure that my feelings are going to change any time soon. Marriage is not on my priority list at the moment.

I still really want to serve a mission. (I have 359 days until I can turn in my papers.) And then there is this missionary that I still have feelings for. I would like to see where things go there, if they can go anywhere, if we'll even want them to...

But the long story short is that I'm not allowing myself to have stronger feelings for him than what I have now, because I am not ready for anything more. (For Pete's sake, I'm 19!)

So that's been kind of rough lately. Mostly because I decided that it was time to talk to Tyler and let him know how I was feeling. It was really hard. We talked for a long time last night. But we haven't come to any decisions yet.

I've given myself until the end of the month to figure out if I want to keep dating him or not. It's not fair to him, nor is it right to keep dating him when his goals and mine are so different.

Anyway, I'm open to any advice. I'm fairly new at this relationship game.

All I really want is to have fun. Forget all of this serious stuff.

I Need Some Snow Pants!

I had the most fun morning ever! Or one of them....

I got up this morning and went to breakfast with Jeff Ward, then went snowshoeing!!!! It was so much fun. We went over to Provo Canyon and blazed our own trail in the snow. Jeff's friend, Katie, let me borrow her snow pants, so i didn't worry about cold wet jeans. I stayed dry, and warm, and had a blast! We tromped all over Provo Canyon! Luckily I had my phone with me, so I got a few (like 35 or so) pictures.

We are so silly. And by we, I mean me. It was fun to follow Jeff, but I often felt the need to forge my own way. As we re-traced our steps at the end of our adventure, it was fun to see all the times our paths diverged, and places where we fell.


And of course, I had to make a Snow Angel. You simply can NOT be in snow so deep and so beautiful, and fail to make one! It was amazing to me, just how deep the snow was. When we would fall, and try to get up, our arms would just sink deeper into the snow. Sometimes it took a few minutes to get up. I was worried that I'd destroy my angel trying to get up. But I think it turned out okay.


Bahahaha.... I am a silly girl. I really like this picture...

I think that the most fun thing about this morning was just spending time with a good friend. Because all of my guy friends are on their missions, Jeff is officially the guy who has known me longest up here at the Y. Weird huh. We've only known each other for ... a year and a half? Yeah. Crazy, man.


It was so beautiful and peaceful The snow was pristine, and lovely. I loved getting out of the BYU scene for just a few hours to enjoy the beautiful nature that surrounds us. It's so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, that the really beautiful things are forgotten.